What Most Coaches Get Wrong About Development

I want to be careful with this one.

Because I’m a coach. I love coaching. And most coaches I know are working hard, care deeply, and are doing their best by their athletes.

But “doing your best” and “developing athletes effectively” aren’t always the same thing.

After years of coaching, playing, and watching programs at every level, I’ve noticed some patterns that show up again and again — things coaches do with good intentions that quietly limit the athletes in front of them.

This isn’t about blame. It’s about getting better.

Coaching comfort over coaching truth

The hardest thing to do as a coach is give feedback that stings.

Not cruel feedback. Not feedback designed to tear someone down. But the honest, direct assessment that an athlete needs to actually improve — even when it’s uncomfortable to deliver.

A lot of coaches avoid it. They soften the message so much that the athlete walks away not really knowing what the problem is. They focus on what’s working because it feels better. They protect the relationship at the cost of the athlete’s growth.

Here’s the truth: athletes can handle more honesty than most coaches give them credit for. What they can’t handle — and what burns them out — is the slow realization that no one is being real with them.

The athletes who reach elite levels almost always have a story about a coach who told them the truth. It wasn’t always comfortable. But it was the conversation that changed everything.

Developing the skill, not the player

Coaches are good at teaching skills. That’s what most coaching education focuses on. Technique, tactics, systems.

But there’s a version of an athlete who has great skills and still can’t perform — because no one ever developed their ability to compete under pressure, manage failure, or stay composed in a critical moment.

Development that stops at the skill level produces athletes who look great in practice and fall apart in matches.

The best coaches develop the whole player — not just what they can do, but how they think, how they recover, how they lead, how they show up when the stakes are high. That’s a longer, harder project than drilling fundamentals. But it’s the one that actually produces elite athletes.

Measuring success by wins instead of growth

This one is systemic, not just individual.

When a program’s success is measured by wins and losses, coaches start to make decisions that optimize for winning now — at the expense of developing athletes for their potential later.

The kid who should be learning to play a harder position stays at the easy one because the team needs the result. The athlete who needs to struggle through a development phase gets pulled to protect the score. The long-term investment gets sacrificed for the short-term outcome.

I understand why this happens. Coaches are evaluated on wins. Parents measure programs by results. The incentives point the wrong direction.

But if you’re a coach reading this — ask yourself: are you developing your athletes, or are you winning with them? There’s a difference. The best programs do both. But when they conflict, which one wins?

Doing it alone

Coaching is a lonely job, and most coaches don’t talk about it.

They figure things out by themselves. They repeat what was done to them because it’s what they know. They don’t have peers who will challenge their thinking, share what’s actually working, help them create the vision they have for their program. Having a coaching staff that is aligned is hard to have, when it happens, magic happens!

The coaches who develop the fastest aren’t the ones who work the hardest in isolation. They’re the ones who put themselves in rooms with other great coaches, who are willing to be questioned, who treat their own development as seriously as their athletes’. They ask tough questions to their peers. They hold their vision high, or adjust it as necessary. They protect or they release, or both. It’s a hard line to walk on at times, specially if you do not have support.

That’s one of the reasons FORGED is built for coaches as much as athletes. Development doesn’t stop when you pick up a clipboard.

If any of this resonated — or if you disagreed with something — reply and tell me. These conversations matter.

And if you’re a coach who’s ready to be in a room with others who take the craft seriously: beforged.co. Phoenix, AZ. November 26–29, 2026 with Indoor volleyball. Registration opens soon.